The Joy of Writing

It's been almost a month since I've last written- though what a month! A stressful, yet exciting month. Ben and I have moved to our new flat now. It was surprisingly stressful. I can't remember my last moves being this stressful. Anyway, it's done now. We're settled in after much worry and drama, and very happy here. The location is beautiful, and the space is perfect for us. We're in a lovely, quiet area surrounded by trees, and I feel totally at home in our apartment. I think tranquil is the word to describe it. I've been longing for a place where I can feel calm and be creative, and I've found it.

It's been a long time since I've written, and I felt embarrassed writing in my blog again (not that I have any readers!). I felt a lot of pressure to write, and I kept on trying to think of topics to write about. Recently I've been feeling some pressure to start working towards my writing/coaching goals. I've been speaking to my career coach, Joy, since January and sometimes I feel like I just think a lot without actually doing the work. These are just negative thoughts of course, and they don't serve me at all. Still, they're always in the back of my mind, niggling at me and causing me to doubt myself.

I just completed a yoga session, with the topic being creativity. Prior to yoga I had been feeling a little edgy. Doing yoga helped calm me, and focus my energy. At the end of the lesson I had a flash of inspiration- why don't I focus on the joy of writing? Rather than trying to think of things other people might find useful, it would be much better for me to write about why I love writing in the first place. Writing is constantly on my mind. When I think, I structure my thoughts like I would a blog post, or a story. I constantly feel the urge to express myself. My writing isn't very good, and when I do write I often feel disappointed by the flow, the inability to find the right words and other small issues. Still, I need to give myself credit for writing.

Every time I write something new, I come closer to finding my writing voice. Writing forces me to examine my thoughts, and delve deep into myself. It gives me clarity and makes me question my authenticity. As I said, I was feeling embarrassed to write before. I could have gone along with this feeling and put it off, but instead I'm sitting here typing. Why did I feel embarrassed? Because I felt like I didn't have anything to write about, and because my post wouldn't be well-written. Well, that ended up being true. I didn't know what I was going to say until I started, and this is definitely not a well-written post. But I'm proud that I forced myself to write, and I'm going to continue writing every day until I improve. I finally have the creative space to focus my thoughts, and I'm going to keep trying every single day because, at the end of the day, I love writing.