The Art of Asking

Have you ever wondered why some people always seem to make things go their way? If you want to learn the art of getting what you want, follow the steps below:

1) Do your homework

Before asking for a favour, always do your homework. People have limited time to spare, and they want to use their time as efficiently as possible. If you're asking them for something, don't expect them to do any work themselves. You should know the ins and outs of what you're asking about, and you should be able to answer any question they ask you. Make it easy for them to say yes.

2) Ask at the right time

No one wants to be bothered right before a meeting, or just as they're about to go to lunch. Speak to them when you know their full attention will be focused on you. If possible, it's best to book some time together and brief them beforehand, so they'll have an idea of what you want to talk about. If that's not possible, get to know their schedule so you can speak to them when they have downtime.

3) Know why you're asking

This is an essential step. If you are asking for a favour, you should definitely know why you are asking for it. People don't want to give up their time for something that you aren't sure about. When you ask for a favour, the first question people will normally ask is 'why.' If you can't come up with a good answer, you risk looking uncommitted and unprepared. If you can't answer this question yourself, you won't be able to compel others to help you.

4) Know how to do it

As the saying goes, 'don't bring up a problem unless you have a solution.' You should already have an idea of your plan after they say yes. As before, people have limited time and they don't want to do any extra work themselves. You should be able to give them an outline of their time commitment and role, should they agree to help you. 

5) Have specific examples prepared

People like to visualise what you are asking them. If you're asking them to provide their expertise, say 'the work is similar to what we did together two months ago on project X.' If you're asking for them to change something, say 'For example, in our meeting yesterday, I felt like I was cut off when you interrupted me to talk about Y.' Too much theory is uninteresting. People will have more personal incentive when you make connections to past memories. 

6) Follow up

It's easy for people to say yes in the moment, and then forget about it later. Remember- you are the person asking, so you are responsible for bringing everything together. My preferred way of following up is a succinct email, and chatting later on. Email allows them to mull over it in their free time, and speaking afterwards lets them know you want their commitment- in a friendly way! Remind them of your request, what their role is and what you'll require from them in the future. 

Conclusion

It can be awkward to ask for help from others, but it's essential in all aspects of your life. By following these steps, you will be fully prepared and feel confident when asking others.